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'I'm a proud, unvaccinated Trump supporter. Two of my siblings have not spoken to me in a decade. Should I cut them out of my $7 million estate?'

'I'm a proud, unvaccinated Trump supporter. Two of my siblings have not spoken to me in a decade. Should I cut them out of my $7 million estate?'

“我是一个骄傲的、未接种疫苗的特朗普支持者。我的两个兄弟姐妹已经十年没有和我说话了。我应该把他们从我价值700万美元的遗产中剔除吗?”
DowjonesNews MarketWatch ·  2021/11/29 15:30

By Quentin Fottrell

昆汀·福特雷尔(Quentin Fottrell)著

'I think it is pathetic to isolate a family member for those reasons, but that is a choice they have made.'

“出于这些原因,我认为孤立一名家庭成员是可悲的,但这是他们做出的选择。”

Dear Quentin,

亲爱的昆汀:

My wife and I were unable to have children and we both had successful careers. We retired just before the COVID-19 crisis hit. I have not spoken with or heard from two of my siblings and their children in the last 10 years.

我和妻子无法生育,我们的事业都很成功。就在新冠肺炎危机来袭之前,我们退休了。在过去的10年里,我没有和我的两个兄弟姐妹和他们的孩子说过话,也没有听到过他们的消息。

We own several rental properties that generate a solid income, and we live a pretty frugal lifestyle. Our estate has a value in the neighborhood of $7 million. We have a total of six siblings, and my family trust currently divides our estate equally between them all, regardless of the number of children.

我们拥有几处出租房产,收入丰厚,我们过着相当节俭的生活。我们的地产价值约700万美元。我们总共有六个兄弟姐妹,我的家族信托基金目前将我们的遗产平均分配给他们所有人,无论有多少孩子。

My issue is that both of my siblings are no longer on speaking terms with me due to my political beliefs (I'm a Trump supporter) and my decision to not get vaxxed. I have not spoken with or heard from my nieces and nephews in the last 10 years. I think it is pathetic to isolate a family member for those reasons, but that is a choice they have made.

我的问题是,由于我的政治信仰(我是特朗普的支持者)和我不想被征税的决定,我的两个兄弟姐妹都不再和我说话了。在过去的10年里,我没有和我的侄女和侄子们说过话,也没有听到过他们的消息。我认为因为这些原因孤立一名家庭成员是可悲的,但这是他们做出的选择。

When I die I don't want my siblings and their children to enjoy inheriting several million dollars from me. I feel closer to some of the nieces and nephews on my wife's side than some of her other nieces and nephews. I am considering leaving my half of our estate to just two of her nieces. This could create some family friction, and that concerns me.

当我死的时候,我不想让我的兄弟姐妹和他们的孩子享受从我那里继承几百万美元的乐趣。我觉得我妻子身边的一些侄女和侄子比她的一些其他侄女和侄子更亲近。我正在考虑把我的一半财产留给她的两个侄女。这可能会造成一些家庭摩擦,这让我很担心。

What would you advise?

你有什么建议?

Husband, Uncle & Brother

丈夫、叔叔和兄弟

Dear Husband, Uncle & Brother,

亲爱的丈夫、叔叔和兄弟:

When faced with deeply personal decisions, I ask myself, "How will this make me feel?" With that in mind, ask yourself: "How would it make me feel to cut my siblings and their kids out of my will?" Your answer may be: "Great!" Or you may just feel rotten. If this estrangement has lasted for a decade, your differences in worldview and how you live your lives predated the rifts you mention.

当面对深刻的个人决定时,我会问自己:“这会让我有什么感觉?”记住这一点,问问你自己:“把我的兄弟姐妹和他们的孩子从我的遗嘱中剔除会是什么感觉?”你的回答可能是:“太棒了!”或者你可能只是觉得自己很烂。如果这种隔阂已经持续了十年,那么你们在世界观和生活方式上的差异早于你们提到的裂痕。

Thanksgiving dinners across this magnificent and troubled land have, no doubt, had some barnstorming, roof-raising, pitchfork-wielding debates between diehard Republicans and Democrats (and Bernie supporters, let's not forget them). One of the goals is to sit down over a plate of turkey breast and cranberry sauce, and talk about our differences. Or even better: Pass the salt, and avoid them.

毫无疑问,在这片壮丽而混乱的土地上,感恩节晚宴在顽固的共和党人和民主党人(以及伯尼的支持者,别忘了他们)之间进行了一些狂轰滥炸、天翻地覆、挥舞着干草叉的辩论。其中一个目标是坐下来吃一盘火鸡胸肉和蔓越莓酱,谈谈我们之间的不同之处。或者更好的做法是:把盐递过来,然后避开它们。

Given the number of people who have died from COVID-19 -- more in 2021 so far than in all of 2020 -- and the highly-contagious delta variant and now a new South African variant that has roiled markets on Black Friday, I can understand why some families would have a "vaccinated only" rule for Thanksgiving dinner. Our health and those of our most vulnerable loved ones come before holiday etiquette.

考虑到死于新冠肺炎的人数--2021年迄今比2020年全年还要多--以及传染性极强的三角洲病毒变体,现在又是一种新的南非病毒变体,在黑色星期五扰乱了市场,我可以理解为什么一些家庭在感恩节晚餐上会有“只接种疫苗”的规定。我们的健康和我们最脆弱的亲人的健康排在节日礼仪之前。

I've lived in this country for 10 years and nothing could have prepared me for the profound divisions along party, racial and ideological lines. (And I grew up under a shadow of sectarianism) Supporters of different beliefs and parties go after each on social media every second of every day and, yes, the media and political classes play to the peanut gallery, keeping the embers of conflict burning brightly, nightly.

我在这个国家生活了10年,没有什么能让我为党派、种族和意识形态上的深刻分歧做好准备。(我是在宗派主义的阴影下长大的)不同信仰和政党的支持者每天每时每刻都在社交媒体上追逐每一个人,是的,媒体和政治阶层在花生馆里玩耍,让冲突的余烬每晚都在明亮地燃烧。

Religious beliefs vs. civil liberties

宗教信仰与公民自由

But it's a tragedy when this environment tears families apart, pitting brother against brother. It takes a lot of hurt and momentum to keep those resentments burning. We all have white lines -- subjects on which we agree to differ and/or discuss -- and "never cross" red lines -- support for the January 6 rioters storming the Capitol -- and they vary wildly from person-to-person.

但这是一场悲剧,当这种环境将家庭撕裂,兄弟之间相互对抗。要让这些怨恨持续燃烧,需要很大的伤痛和动力。我们都有支持1月6日冲击国会大厦的暴徒的白线--我们同意在这些问题上存在分歧和/或讨论--而且“永远不会越过”红线--不同的人有很大的不同。

One man's religious beliefs is another woman's civil liberties. From what I have seen these past 10 Thanksgivings, never the twain shall meet. When I have a challenging encounter, I sometimes ask myself: "They are my teacher. What have they been sent to teach me?" Maybe we both need a lesson in humility. Or perhaps the healthiest thing to do is simply to walk away.

一个男人的宗教信仰就是另一个女人的公民自由。从我所看到的过去的10个感恩节来看,这两个人永远不会相遇。当我遇到挑战时,我有时会问自己:“他们是我的老师,他们派来教我什么?”也许我们都需要上一堂谦虚的课。或者,也许最健康的做法就是干脆走开。

You believe you are on the receiving end of self-will and political intractability. I caution you against making final decisions based on anger, righteous or not. Leave the most generous sums of money to your closest siblings and their kids, and lay down your sword by giving a more modest amount to your estranged siblings' children. Or set up a family educational trust for all nieces and nephews.

你认为自己是任性和政治棘手的接收方。我警告你不要基于愤怒做出最后的决定,无论是正义的还是非正义的。把最慷慨的钱留给你最亲近的兄弟姐妹和他们的孩子,然后放下你的剑,把更少的钱给你疏远的兄弟姐妹的孩子。或者为所有的侄女和侄子建立一个家庭教育信托基金。

That token gift says: "I see you and acknowledge that you are part of our family, and on the day of my death I want you to know that I truly believe in a time and place where we can all see eye to eye, and bring more compassion and understanding to the table. My parting gift to you is that we could all have done things differently, and that any issues between me and your parents end here."

这份象征性的礼物上写着:“我看到你,承认你是我们大家庭的一员,在我去世的那天,我想让你知道,我真心相信一个我们都能达成一致的时间和地点,为我们的谈判桌带来更多的同情和理解。我给你的临别礼物是,我们都可以用不同的方式做事,我和你父母之间的任何问题都在这里结束。”

You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions related to coronavirus at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, and follow Quentin Fottrell on Twitter

你可以给Moneyist发电子邮件,询问与冠状病毒有关的任何财务和伦理问题,地址是qfottrell@MarketWatch.com,并在Twitter上关注昆汀·福特雷尔(Quentin Fottrell)

Check out the Moneyist private Facebookgroup, where we look for answers to life's thorniest money issues. Readers write in to me with all sorts of dilemmas. Post your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.

看看Moneyist的私人Facebook群,我们在那里寻找生活中最棘手的金钱问题的答案。读者写信给我,告诉我各种各样的难题。发布你的问题,告诉我你想知道的更多,或者在最新的Moneyist专栏中发表意见。

The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.

这位钱币主义者很遗憾,他不能单独回答问题。

More from Quentin Fottrell:

昆汀·福特雷尔(Quentin Fottrell)报道:

-- My married sister is helping herself to our parents' most treasured possessions. How do I stop her from plundering their home?-- My mom had my grandfather sign a trust leaving millions of dollars to two grandkids, shunning everyone else-- My brother's soon-to-be ex-wife is embezzling money from their business. How do we find hidden accounts?-- 'Grandma recently passed away, leaving behind a 7-figure estate. Needless to say, things are getting messy'

--我结了婚的妹妹正在随意拿走我们父母最珍爱的东西。我怎么才能阻止她掠夺他们的家呢?--我妈妈让我祖父签署了一份信托,把数百万美元留给了两个孙子孙女,避开了其他人--我哥哥即将成为前妻的人从他们的生意中挪用了资金。我们怎么才能找到隐藏的账户呢?--“奶奶最近去世了,留下了7位数的遗产。不用说,事情变得越来越乱了。”

-Quentin Fottrell

--昆汀·福特雷尔(Quentin Fottrell)

译文内容由第三方软件翻译。


以上内容仅用作资讯或教育之目的,不构成与富途相关的任何投资建议。富途竭力但不能保证上述全部内容的真实性、准确性和原创性。
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