'I'm a proud, unvaccinated Trump supporter. Two of my siblings have not spoken to me in a decade. Should I cut them out of my $7 million estate?'
'I'm a proud, unvaccinated Trump supporter. Two of my siblings have not spoken to me in a decade. Should I cut them out of my $7 million estate?'
By Quentin Fottrell
昆汀·福特雷爾(Quentin Fottrell)著
'I think it is pathetic to isolate a family member for those reasons, but that is a choice they have made.'
“出於這些原因，我認為孤立一名家庭成員是可悲的，但這是他們做出的選擇。”
Dear Quentin,
親愛的昆汀：
My wife and I were unable to have children and we both had successful careers. We retired just before the COVID-19 crisis hit. I have not spoken with or heard from two of my siblings and their children in the last 10 years.
我和妻子無法生育，我們的事業都很成功。就在新冠肺炎危機來襲之前，我們退休了。在過去的10年裏，我沒有和我的兩個兄弟姐妹和他們的孩子説過話，也沒有聽到過他們的消息。
We own several rental properties that generate a solid income, and we live a pretty frugal lifestyle. Our estate has a value in the neighborhood of $7 million. We have a total of six siblings, and my family trust currently divides our estate equally between them all, regardless of the number of children.
我們擁有幾處出租房產，收入豐厚，我們過着相當節儉的生活。我們的地產價值約700萬美元。我們總共有六個兄弟姐妹，我的家族信託基金目前將我們的遺產平均分配給他們所有人，無論有多少孩子。
My issue is that both of my siblings are no longer on speaking terms with me due to my political beliefs (I'm a Trump supporter) and my decision to not get vaxxed. I have not spoken with or heard from my nieces and nephews in the last 10 years. I think it is pathetic to isolate a family member for those reasons, but that is a choice they have made.
我的問題是，由於我的政治信仰(我是特朗普的支持者)和我不想被徵税的決定，我的兩個兄弟姐妹都不再和我説話了。在過去的10年裏，我沒有和我的侄女和侄子們説過話，也沒有聽到過他們的消息。我認為因為這些原因孤立一名家庭成員是可悲的，但這是他們做出的選擇。
When I die I don't want my siblings and their children to enjoy inheriting several million dollars from me. I feel closer to some of the nieces and nephews on my wife's side than some of her other nieces and nephews. I am considering leaving my half of our estate to just two of her nieces. This could create some family friction, and that concerns me.
當我死的時候，我不想讓我的兄弟姐妹和他們的孩子享受從我那裏繼承幾百萬美元的樂趣。我覺得我妻子身邊的一些侄女和侄子比她的一些其他侄女和侄子更親近。我正在考慮把我的一半財產留給她的兩個侄女。這可能會造成一些家庭摩擦，這讓我很擔心。
What would you advise?
你有什麼建議？
Husband, Uncle & Brother
丈夫、叔叔和兄弟
Dear Husband, Uncle & Brother,
親愛的丈夫、叔叔和兄弟：
When faced with deeply personal decisions, I ask myself, "How will this make me feel?" With that in mind, ask yourself: "How would it make me feel to cut my siblings and their kids out of my will?" Your answer may be: "Great!" Or you may just feel rotten. If this estrangement has lasted for a decade, your differences in worldview and how you live your lives predated the rifts you mention.
當面對深刻的個人決定時，我會問自己：“這會讓我有什麼感覺？”記住這一點，問問你自己：“把我的兄弟姐妹和他們的孩子從我的遺囑中剔除會是什麼感覺？”你的回答可能是：“太棒了！”或者你可能只是覺得自己很爛。如果這種隔閡已經持續了十年，那麼你們在世界觀和生活方式上的差異早於你們提到的裂痕。
Thanksgiving dinners across this magnificent and troubled land have, no doubt, had some barnstorming, roof-raising, pitchfork-wielding debates between diehard Republicans and Democrats (and Bernie supporters, let's not forget them). One of the goals is to sit down over a plate of turkey breast and cranberry sauce, and talk about our differences. Or even better: Pass the salt, and avoid them.
毫無疑問，在這片壯麗而混亂的土地上，感恩節晚宴在頑固的共和黨人和民主黨人(以及伯尼的支持者，別忘了他們)之間進行了一些狂轟濫炸、天翻地覆、揮舞着乾草叉的辯論。其中一個目標是坐下來吃一盤火雞胸肉和蔓越莓醬，談談我們之間的不同之處。或者更好的做法是：把鹽遞過來，然後避開它們。
Given the number of people who have died from COVID-19 -- more in 2021 so far than in all of 2020 -- and the highly-contagious delta variant and now a new South African variant that has roiled markets on Black Friday, I can understand why some families would have a "vaccinated only" rule for Thanksgiving dinner. Our health and those of our most vulnerable loved ones come before holiday etiquette.
考慮到死於新冠肺炎的人數--2021年迄今比2020年全年還要多--以及傳染性極強的三角洲病毒變體，現在又是一種新的南非病毒變體，在黑色星期五擾亂了市場，我可以理解為什麼一些家庭在感恩節晚餐上會有“只接種疫苗”的規定。我們的健康和我們最脆弱的親人的健康排在節日禮儀之前。
I've lived in this country for 10 years and nothing could have prepared me for the profound divisions along party, racial and ideological lines. (And I grew up under a shadow of sectarianism) Supporters of different beliefs and parties go after each on social media every second of every day and, yes, the media and political classes play to the peanut gallery, keeping the embers of conflict burning brightly, nightly.
我在這個國家生活了10年，沒有什麼能讓我為黨派、種族和意識形態上的深刻分歧做好準備。(我是在宗派主義的陰影下長大的)不同信仰和政黨的支持者每天每時每刻都在社交媒體上追逐每一個人，是的，媒體和政治階層在花生館裏玩耍，讓衝突的餘燼每晚都在明亮地燃燒。
Religious beliefs vs. civil liberties
宗教信仰與公民自由
But it's a tragedy when this environment tears families apart, pitting brother against brother. It takes a lot of hurt and momentum to keep those resentments burning. We all have white lines -- subjects on which we agree to differ and/or discuss -- and "never cross" red lines -- support for the January 6 rioters storming the Capitol -- and they vary wildly from person-to-person.
但這是一場悲劇，當這種環境將家庭撕裂，兄弟之間相互對抗。要讓這些怨恨持續燃燒，需要很大的傷痛和動力。我們都有支持1月6日衝擊國會大廈的暴徒的白線--我們同意在這些問題上存在分歧和/或討論--而且“永遠不會越過”紅線--不同的人有很大的不同。
One man's religious beliefs is another woman's civil liberties. From what I have seen these past 10 Thanksgivings, never the twain shall meet. When I have a challenging encounter, I sometimes ask myself: "They are my teacher. What have they been sent to teach me?" Maybe we both need a lesson in humility. Or perhaps the healthiest thing to do is simply to walk away.
一個男人的宗教信仰就是另一個女人的公民自由。從我所看到的過去的10個感恩節來看，這兩個人永遠不會相遇。當我遇到挑戰時，我有時會問自己：“他們是我的老師，他們派來教我什麼？”也許我們都需要上一堂謙虛的課。或者，也許最健康的做法就是乾脆走開。
You believe you are on the receiving end of self-will and political intractability. I caution you against making final decisions based on anger, righteous or not. Leave the most generous sums of money to your closest siblings and their kids, and lay down your sword by giving a more modest amount to your estranged siblings' children. Or set up a family educational trust for all nieces and nephews.
你認為自己是任性和政治棘手的接收方。我警告你不要基於憤怒做出最後的決定，無論是正義的還是非正義的。把最慷慨的錢留給你最親近的兄弟姐妹和他們的孩子，然後放下你的劍，把更少的錢給你疏遠的兄弟姐妹的孩子。或者為所有的侄女和侄子建立一個家庭教育信託基金。
That token gift says: "I see you and acknowledge that you are part of our family, and on the day of my death I want you to know that I truly believe in a time and place where we can all see eye to eye, and bring more compassion and understanding to the table. My parting gift to you is that we could all have done things differently, and that any issues between me and your parents end here."
這份象徵性的禮物上寫着：“我看到你，承認你是我們大家庭的一員，在我去世的那天，我想讓你知道，我真心相信一個我們都能達成一致的時間和地點，為我們的談判桌帶來更多的同情和理解。我給你的臨別禮物是，我們都可以用不同的方式做事，我和你父母之間的任何問題都在這裏結束。”
You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions related to coronavirus at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, and follow Quentin Fottrell on Twitter
你可以給Moneyist發電子郵件，詢問與冠狀病毒有關的任何財務和倫理問題，地址是qfottrell@MarketWatch.com，並在Twitter上關注昆汀·福特雷爾(Quentin Fottrell)
Check out the Moneyist private Facebookgroup, where we look for answers to life's thorniest money issues. Readers write in to me with all sorts of dilemmas. Post your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.
看看Moneyist的私人Facebook羣，我們在那裏尋找生活中最棘手的金錢問題的答案。讀者寫信給我，告訴我各種各樣的難題。發佈你的問題，告訴我你想知道的更多，或者在最新的Moneyist專欄中發表意見。
The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.
這位錢幣主義者很遺憾，他不能單獨回答問題。
More from Quentin Fottrell:
昆汀·福特雷爾(Quentin Fottrell)報道：
-- My married sister is helping herself to our parents' most treasured possessions. How do I stop her from plundering their home?-- My mom had my grandfather sign a trust leaving millions of dollars to two grandkids, shunning everyone else-- My brother's soon-to-be ex-wife is embezzling money from their business. How do we find hidden accounts?-- 'Grandma recently passed away, leaving behind a 7-figure estate. Needless to say, things are getting messy'
--我結了婚的妹妹正在隨意拿走我們父母最珍愛的東西。我怎麼才能阻止她掠奪他們的家呢？--我媽媽讓我祖父簽署了一份信託，把數百萬美元留給了兩個孫子孫女，避開了其他人--我哥哥即將成為前妻的人從他們的生意中挪用了資金。我們怎麼才能找到隱藏的賬户呢？--“奶奶最近去世了，留下了7位數的遺產。不用説，事情變得越來越亂了。”
-Quentin Fottrell
--昆汀·福特雷爾(Quentin Fottrell)
譯文內容由第三人軟體翻譯。